Are You Having Fun Yet?

When I meet with new couples I'm always keen to hear about how they create time to have fun together. It's inevitable that, once people have been together for a while, there is a risk of falling into regular patterns of behavior that become more functional than fun (think: 'it's Saturday so it must be date night'). Having regular time set aside to do things together is essential but it's not much good if the things you are doing are not much fun anymore. This becomes even more true when kids, work, and other obligations start to crowd out your schedule. Relationships, like gardens, need nurturing and part of tending to a relationship must involve spending time together that both partners find enjoyable. Some psychologists say that every couple needs five hours a week of one-on-one time (which does not include watching TV together!). I suggest that a good chunk of that time is spent doing something fun. Think back to what you used to do together when you first met or try a new activity. How about taking a cooking or exercise class, going rock climbing, planning a trip together, trying a comedy club, going to a concert or gig, singing Karaoke, visiting a museum or art show, being a tourist for a day, going get the picture. Whatever activity brings a smile to your face, or hopefully makes you both laugh at some point, is like adding fertilizer to a garden. Your relationship will keep blooming.